My Gray Stripes

Becoming whole through family life. Desserts help.

Saying goodbye


One month after my daughter married, she and her husband moved out-of-state.  He is earning a doctorate in physics in six years.  She is working, making their home, and preparing to have a family.  They are adjusting to their new reality of one car, a tiny apartment on a steep hill, and two bikes.  Their love is being tested and proved.

My husband and I moved fourteen times within the first fourteen years of our marriage.  After that I stopped counting.  Saying goodbye to my daughter and new son broke my heart, the same heart that had been broken so many times by relocation.  Rough.

So you could say that I’ve become good at what I do, in this case, saying goodbye.  I may not like it, but if I need to, my goal is to do so with transparency, hope, and a heart willing to break.

We had a month to say goodbye and filled it with all the things that we love: good food, friends, and baseball.  (We even did a few things that we don’t love, like shopping, just to make sure we covered our bases.)  We prepared for the move with organizing, packing, and discussing how best to get from point A to point B.  We celebrated with several going away parties, one the day before the actual move.  Distractions can be a good thing.

Then the moment came when my daughter and I really, truly, needed to say goodbye.  Facing that moment is akin to facing death.  I needed to decide who I wanted to be for my daughter; who I wanted to be for myself.  Together we allowed ourselves to love each other deeply.  We held each other closely, but not panicky.  We looked into each other’s tear soaked eyes and smiled.  We cracked private jokes and mentioned Irish funeral humor.  We reminisced, just a bit, with strong and significant memories.  We looked to the future with hope, committed to this decision as being good and right.  And hard.

Then we had to…

let go.

We blew a final kiss…


Confident that faith, hope, and love unite us…

everywhere, always and forever.

Gray Stripe Earned: Be courageous and say goodbye with love.


4 comments on “Saying goodbye

  1. Diana
    July 18, 2013

    Big tears in my eyes….and we thought babyhood was hard…..thanks for being real, Angie! Big love and hugs your way!!

    • Angie Mc
      July 18, 2013

      No kidding, Diana! You are welcome and thank you for your encouragement. Big love and hugs right back at you & yours ❤

  2. andrewmstevenson
    August 24, 2013

    I don’t like saying goodbye, it sounds so final. My sons taught me a better way by saying: see you later! Parting can be such sorrow, and I know it will never get easier. Gavin manages by the realisation that we are just over the same hill that stands between us. He lived in California for some years, and had many good friends there. We managed by knowing that.
    Wherever our children are, they are always in our heart.
    Thank you Angie,

    • Angie Mc
      August 24, 2013

      That is a lovely way to say goodbye, Andrew! My grandmother, as she was dying, said to my mother, “See you soon.” We really are so very connected through love. Thanks, always, for stopping by and may you & yours have a wonderful weekend 🙂

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This entry was posted on July 16, 2013 by in Happiness & Suffering and tagged , , , , , , .
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